Is it possible to feel simultaneously these emotions: happiness that your playing is improving, frustration that it isn’t improving enough, excitement about your music journey, ennui at your current practice sessions, anxiety and uncertainty, positivity?
I don’t know but I have a new name for them. Music Demons. Music Demons torture me like this every now and then but I won’t let them win because I’m getting better.
I’ve been working on warmups, scales and my four exam pieces daily. Getting more comfortable with the Daw piece and am slowly eking out the musicality (melody) aspect of it. I have also (outside of class and exam stuff) started rememorizing Lagrima. I’ve been combatting my music ennui by playing all the early/renaissance music I know w/ capo. Really enjoyed working with Dowland’s The Sick Tune except with the capo, in drop F# tuning and adding an extra repeat not in the Grade 3 book I have from the `90s. I’ve also been playing a handful of other Dowland pieces, some new to me.
Also Thomas Campion (I once had a website w/ poetry and art articles and I did one on Campion) and Robert Jones. These are all from the Sokolow book that I noticed people sneering at on Amazon but there are some really relatively rare pieces in the compilation. I suppose by professional standards they’re pretty simplified pieces, but I’ve been working with this book for years! I have two copies of it. The one I bought from Borders and the photocopied one w/ comb binding for ease of playing.
But I’m restless and feel I need a challenge. I’ve been playing the same Grade 5 pieces every day and in terms of performance I’m solidly a Grade 5 and really need to improve on fingering etc. But in some other aspects…sigh. Trying not to bite off more than I can chew but I think I need to indulge in my craving for something more challenging to play, even if it drives me bonkers.
Anyway, I’ve noodled around with the Sor piece in the Trinity book but am not enamoured of it. I want something else, something like the Daw piece to play, something that will scratch this particular musical itch of mine. Well, I’m also improving in notation but I’ll talk about that in my composition post maybe on another day.
I do have that lovely transcription of Clair de Lune that I bought a few months ago and printed out. May give that a whirl tomorrow or just play some Brouwer — I can only play the first six Estudios Sencillos, maybe give #7 a whirl. I have this gnawing need to play something wild and contemporary. Or maybe a gnawing need to compose such a thing, or both. We’ll see how it goes. I did think of ordering the Daw book but now we’re in lockdown again and I don’t know when I’ll see the CURRENT parcels in transit so…better not. Failing which I could just shut up and finish notating my own pieces now that I am a very clever girl and can notate pieces, forget all about them, go back, find them, play them and change the key and add more notes etc. IMAGINE THAT! So, anyway, things are happening with me and music is the main take-away from this post. I feel so weird and scratchy about it.