Tonight I went for Unknown Mortal Orchestra. My first concert since Dad’s passing. I nearly didn’t go. I was drained from the past week and this week’s still hectic. I was also incredibly drained and upset to learn that [redacted].
Anyway. Whew. Didn’t expect to rant. But it’s also been oddly…healing?
I had some words with another author about this matter and I totally didn’t expect to bring up another matter — but it WAS related. Anyway, they apologized, and I accepted it. And I apologized for my part as well. Closure. I feel. I needed that.
So. Where err, was I?
I forgot my fitbit! I was on my way to gig when I realized I forgot my fitbit! But I told myself “Eh, screw it. Let’s see how well you fare without it!” also, “You stood by Dad’s side in the HDU ward for over four hours some afternoons, looking after him, chasing after nurses. You were okay. You’ll be okay here. The echo test already said your heart’s okay!”
So during my drive, I was reliving all of those hours with Dad. My last hours with Dad.
Then later, I had one of my made-up-words in my head, and I remembered Dad’s made-up-words. It’s a gentle kind of sadness.
I had a really good time at the concert. My bpm was okay by the time I reached the car and used one of the bpm-checking aps on my phone. Around 82.
I also really missed my father tonight.
These two truths are equally true.
I may have a more detailed post about the concert another day. Sleep now. Tomorrow’s another frantic day at work. Still tempted to do Tiffin on Thursday. We’ll see. Worried it might be awkward but my tastebuds say, “Screw awkwardness, get at the food!”