Notes on the end of a long and surreal weekend

So I’ve pretty much been hanging out at the old home these past three days which is the longest I’ve been around since 2007. There’s a lot of bad memories in these walls, but also quite a few good ones. And I thought to myself: “Hey, I haven’t done a selfie in here for ages”. And well, we didn’t call them selfies back in 2006. I even tried to do a selfie with one of the older low-quality cameras I had pre-cameraphone days. Hated it. Hated how I looked.

So it felt like I should probably take a selfie of me today just hanging out in my old room, trying on the costume jewelry I used to wear in my twenties and teens. The earrings I used to hate. They’re a pair of those 80s chunky earrings passed on to me by my mother who had all of these big New wave type earrings. I only liked costume jewelry that looked hippie-ish, Goth or had some special symbolism to it. But these days I kind of like the chunky geometry of the 80s period plus I know a bit more about design history and architecture. So there’s symbolism for you.

And here’s me. Whatever else I am these days, I don’t hate myself like I used to back then. Plus I think I’m cute. Well, most of the times. Some days I feel like toxic waste:

 

Today I dug into Graham Joyce’s Some Kind of Fairytale. Dug into A Silent Land last night and HAD to finish it because it alternated between having me seriously scared, and having me cry in sadness as well. I’m still not sure if I’m relieved or let down by the ending, to be honest. But I will tell you this — Joyce pulled off what a lesser author could not. If a lesser author had tried that ending I would have thrown the book across the room. With Joyce I was just thoughtful and troubled. Some Kind of Fairytale is also dragging me in and stirring up emotions in ways that few writers can elicit out of me these days.

Now going to work on Rosemirror for a couple of hours but also the psychogeography article which I am hoping to deliver by tomorrow night.

A close up of my tattoo bracelets from the 90s plus the bracelet my mother bought for me in the Holy Land, back in the day.

Today is also Father’s Day. Tears have been shed.