The Past Two Days

The past two posts that I’ve deleted were perhaps a little too angsty, a little too heavy and not at all what I’d planned for this version of Growing Fins. It was more v.1 than v.2. And you know when I start weaving in metaphor and patterns in a memoir-ish kind of way, people start misunderstanding and misconstruing left and right. And I start feeling oh-so-exposed. Ohnoez!

So in the interests of proper curating, I’ve deleted the posts.

Relevant stuff that happened these past two days in bullet points, I’ve redacted the more personal and family-related matters:

  • I’m working rather desperately on the psychogeography article even though it’s Eid (I’ve already done the Eid thing and survived it, fear not gentle friends).
  • Got an extension on the article from the super-cool prof who invited me to join this grant-funded project’s special journal issue.
  • Yesterday some mad bug bit me and I submitted my monograph proposal because I was fed up of inertia and being scared to submit it. By this morning I got a note from an EA from another division (I think) that the proposal had been transferred to them. Suspect it wasn’t right for the imprint I’d submitted it to and I’ve been passed on like stale dinner rolls. Also got told a bit about the process. To be honest, given that I’d sent one email with about a gazillion questions, and then another email with the proposal sans sample chapter I’m a bit surprised I haven’t been instantly rejected. It may yet happen! How do I feel? A bit flattened, to be honest. But also oddly relieved — like whew, that’s a load of pressure off? I am glad I won’t have this hanging over my head and I’m in the system of a big academic publishing house — albeit briefly. Even if I get rejected it’ll be educational. Also I finally got off my ass and stopped fear-procrastinating over this for the FIRST TIME SINCE I GRADUATED WITH A PHD. So yay me. (in the meanwhile younger people have monographs out way earlier than me so I really really need to do things faster like, yesterday).
  • Pumped because of my double acceptances at Kaleidotrope plus that revision request over at [redacted pro magazine], I finally got over the funk I’ve been in since that heartbreaking rejection of my novella after over a year and being #1 in queue. So I submitted it to the very nice publishers who solicited novellas from me last year. Actually I got solicited for novellas by THREE separate sources so I’m doing okay, you know.
  • I don’t think I’ll hit 60k words in Rosemirror by Monday because of the psychogeography article. By Tuesday? Maaaybe but it’s going to be a very busy week. The Malaysian Gothic chapter has minor revisions, I’ve got a ton of grading to do, I want to submit some more short fiction and maaaybe attempt to get something ready for Tor.com’s novella submission period in July though they’ll likely break my heart and stomp all over it again but you know I never say die.
  • I did the gauche thing of writing a thank-you note to former Dream Agent who sent me that wonderfully kind rejection that said a great many fine things about my novel sample + writing, plus some incisive comments of how to improve it. She wrote a very sweet note in response which was super-encouraging. I’m still very comforted by that. If you know in what high esteem I hold her work, you’ll know why it means a lot to have someone like her say she expects great things from me. Still waiting to hear back from other agents. Though recently I’ve been getting better rejections. That’s comforting. Still, getting an actual agent would be better 🙂
  • After I am done with the article and the chapter I’ve got to start working on some other things. Three conference papers that will also become articles. A chapter for an ecocriticism book that’s with the same publishers who have my monograph (if it gets approved), a rewrite of my fairytale article that I’ve been putting off since 2015 because I was still a baby ECR then, also was very busy with being a baby pro author and life stuff. Now that I’ve powered more than one article through the peer review process I feel more confident about approaching this one. I’ve pretty much been an article writing machine all year. Feel oddly proud of myself for that.
  • Got idea for a monograph that might be a real passion project for me — that’s the real reason a fire got lit under my butt yesterday to submit. Like, the idea just came into my head and I was breathless. It was a bit like being in love. But I need to honor my commitment to this project first. Next year. It would be good to get current monograph out of my system first and I can do side research and concept storyboards for new one while I learn stuff writing this one. To be honest, I’ve already started. I’m so good at conceptualising monographs, so so very bad at being brave enough to get to the next step. So for that at least, for putting one in the system at least, I deserve a pat on the back. Even if they reject it. They probably will.
  • Reading Notes: I finished Tracy Chevalier’s Remarkable Creatures earlier while wrapped up in my comforter in utter exhaustion. A story about Mary Anning and Elizabeth Philpot. It made me miss Lyme Regis so much. I spent two entire days along the waterfront, walking up and down — even though I was too chicken to stroll along the Cobb. Superstitious fear. I’d spent an afternoon poking about the Lyme Regis Museum. And I stayed in an Edwardian B&B that had a family that reminded me of the Bennetts. It was magical except for being trailed by cops because apparently I’d not had Polly Jean’s lights on. That scared me but since I’m such a helpless female sometimes I asked them for directions, advice on the car (it was way more high tech than Elena which confused me quite a bit), complained about the spooky road and they kind of did that thing men do **rolls eyes** and gave me directions, some avuncular advice and sent the not-so-little lady on her way. God, I mean I loved the French Lieutenant’s Woman but never quite expected to have my own brush with “the wild side” in Lyme. ANYWAY. ABOUT THE NOVEL. IT IS EXCELLENT AND BROKE MY HEART AND OMG I NEED MORE INFORMATION ABOUT ELIZABETH PHILPOT RIGHT NOW.  And I need to figure out how to visit Lyme Regis again without having these kinds of adventures.

Listening to: That’s a Lifestyle — Dirty Projectors